Spinclacity 11.3.11 aka This One Time v9

So as I set off on my morning commute and come outside the gates I see a NYPD cruiser dash across the 2 ways street and park on the wrong side, half way up on the sidewalk. Clearly official and emergency police business is about to take place. I pause to observe. The text book definition of a big white police officer comes out and starts walking towards a dude who is standing on the sidewalk, holding a bike rack. Withing seconds it became apparent that they connected through Craigslist and this was a sale - popo man is examining the bike rack, money out. Nothing to see here, I thought.

Then all of a sudden I hear "Wait wait WAAAAAAIT..... where is the 1/4" adapter?" "What adapter? There is no adapter" "Maaaan, you advertised that there is a fuckin 1/4" adapter, I told you I have 2 fuckin cars and now you wasted my fuckin time with this shit? What a fuck, I drove all the way from Bronx for this shit, you're an ass". All of this, very very loud. Very very wearing a NYPD uniform standing next to a Caprice parked half way on the sidewalk, the wrong way. Wish my camera was on. Seconds later the cop took off - I accidentally ran a red light right in front of him, and feared the worst - but I guess he was either bike friendly cop or was too pissed to see me breaking the law.

My commute was on its way.

Lil bike lane parking. Good job.

Classic example of the Hasidic Dash. Parking across a 2 way street for 20 seconds, blocking traffic both ways just so kiddies can get on a school bus. Classy.

Squeeeeez.

Tweet

TOT Pics (This One Time) V1

Ya'll getting smashed out there!

TOT is a sub-series from our now world infamous This One Time series. Instead of an awesome story along with photos, you just get a video still from the bike commute cam and your task is to make up your own story in the comments. The winner with the best story will receive a sticker! Go!

Tweet

This One Time - Vol 2

 

Some might remember us mentioning this stretch of the road before, and its time to do it again. This is a regular sight here and if I was to take a picture each time I see this bullshit my hairstyle would change on its own and I would have some really curly long sideburns in no time. If that made no sense, good, it wasn't supposed to.

I just want to get something straight - so you don't want your little shrimps to get ran over by bikes or cars - so you dash across the whole madafakin street, blocking it like a real dill weed. I really don't get it. I also don't get why the popo does nothing about this holy maneuver. Oh, I know why - da copsycops are too cool for school. Yes, this was the weakest rant ever - that was on purpose. This is a fun website, PG13 if I may so say. We don't want no trouble (double negative, also on purpose) from the baby jesus or whatever the holy busdriver was brainwashed into believing. But what can we do? Not much - and THAT is why I always ride down Bedford Ave with my cock, balls and titties out for all to see.

Tweet

This One Time - Vol 1

This one time, on a brisk gray afternoon, I was biking down the great hipster silk route at a medium rate of speed. I wasn't the only one - the newly constructed bike lane allows for heavy two-way bike traffic on this one-way street. This "new" kind of bike lane is separated from the auto traffic by a row of parked cars, making it virtually impossible for a car to find itself amongst the bikes - it's a great idea really, I'm a big fan of this stretch of road.
Well, like I said, this one time I was moving right along this path, comming up on some newly built luxury condo constructions which hold a Hasidic school for youngsters. Many bikers from NYC are aware of the whole bikers vs hasids beef that's going on in Williamsburg, Brooklyn, over some specific bike lanes and such - I'm not a part of that movement and I hate Honda Odyssey mini vans swirvin down Bedford signal-less for reasons much simpler.
As I approach the entrance to the school I see 2 dozen youths pour onto the sidewalk right next to the bike lane. Perfect timing. I'm good 50 yards away, yet my senses are alerted, one of these lil bastards is bound leap off a sidewalk and get clipped by a well worn-in Animal Edwin at a healthy 15mph.
Twenty yards away from the scene I hear either a dirty diesel F150 or a torn up Astro van lacking a muffler mashing on the gas. I didn't bother looking back at this roaring monster - I knew it was bound to pass me any second, and I would be able to see if I was right with my guesses from the safety of the bike lane.



I was wrong. Moments later, myself and 3-4 other cyclists are cut off by a short School Bus that stabs its way across the bike lane, blocking both of them and nearly taking out a rider with a kid. I swear I thought the driver was going to jump the curb. What was the meaning of this EXTREME maneuver? Why couldn't he wait for 7 seconds for half a dozen bikes to speed past? Power trip?
I had to stop and take a photo of this, even in this great bike unfriendly rude little town you don't get to see assholes like this very often. As I pull out my phone and snap a few shots, a handful of students yell at me from the sidewalk.
"Mister, hey you mister, who are you?"
"Me? I'm a terrorist."

Probably not the nicest thing to say, but I was really upset.

Tweet