This One Time - Vol 6 - NYPD BIKE BATTLE!

So this one time, yesterday, I was getting some coffee along the interborough hipster silk route and I came across this silly little free newspaper titled Williamsburg Courier. Normally I wouldn't even notice such a publication - my literary standards are just too damn high for that shit. Yet, this was no regular edition. Across the front, the words "NYPD BIKE BATTLE" caught my attention. I had to look inside.

To make a long story short Po-po is sick and tired of bikers going wild. They had enough shenenigans and fiddlepoopin from the 2 wheel reject clan. So starting Feb 1st (or something like that) they are going to crack down on bikers who do not signal when switching lanes, riding outside existing bike lanes, who fail to yield to pedestrians, who tailgate, and the best one.... speeding.

Now perhaps there is some special unposted bike only speed limit on the streets but I've never seen one. I've gone over 30mph before many times, usually going ballsout on Williamsburg bridge when I'm drunk as shit - and its fast. Really fast. Most people would like to think they are going 30, but they are not. I have a speedometer, so I have facts about my velocity.

Anywho.... shouldn't the Po-po focus their energy on speeding cars instead? Or cars that do not signal? Or cops who park in bike lanes? Now, I understand that commuter biking in NYC has increased by something like 38% over the past year, and alot of these people don't know how to bike for shit and should probably stick to the train, but I'm pretty sure these new cracking downs will mostly effect people who actually do know how to ride a damn bike. Sigh.

Look Po-po, do whatever the fuck you want like you will anyway, just stay out of the damn bike lanes with your crusty Impalas.