11.19.2009

FUCK YOU and the Horse You Rode In On

this might not be as much of an issue for you NYC folks....but think of it as the AZ AIBLPM for trails...



issue number one. if i'm walking my dogs on this trail, and they drop a few turds, i'm expected to pick them up and carry them until i find a trash can. well, out in nature there's not a lot of fucking trash cans. in fact, there's ONE. and its back where i parked the car. now, nevermind the fact that i don't actually do this...i kick sand over it or place a rock over it and waltz away. the fact is that i am Expected to do it.

However, if someone's horse takes a dump which is the size of both of my dogs put together, they get to leave it right in the middle of the fucking trail for me to ride through. WTF?!?! and don't give me that "well they just eat oats and grass so their poop isn't as gross." OK, you wanna make that argument? go find a steaming pile of horse shit and eat a handful... go ahead, i'll wait.
now what were you saying?



issue number two. apparantly, horses and bikes are mortal enemies. at least, this is my theory based on the fact that every fucking horse on the trail freaks the fuck out when i come riding along. of course, while the horse is bucking around trying to Christopher-Reeves its owner, the riders are scowling at me like i did something wrong.
hey, sorry that your mode of conveyance is terrified by the presence of a silent 2 wheeled demon...maybe if you got your fat ass off the horse and tried fucking walking down the trail you wouldn't be at risk of getting your skull split open by the Black Stallion.



i mean, if you've got a herd of cattle and you need to get them to Prescott Valley for slaughter, OK...ride your fucking horse cowboy. but otherwise, lead your horse to water, and hold its fucking head under!

7 comments:

Curtis Chorizali said...

boom! az status

Anonymous said...

"lead your horse to water, and hold its fucking head under!"

Well if, I ever meet you I might so do that with you to stinkin' animal hater bastard. I hope you get raped by a bull or something. Your kind is the shame of whole mankind. You should be shot...

Sam Davidson The tripple 3rd said...

I don't think getting raped by a bull would be a threat, I'm pretty sure thats called Tuesday nights.

Donde Estero said...

Anon is not a grammar master

Accatone Becchino said...

eat a dick you necro post-resurrecting horse-fucker

Anonymous said...

Rot in hell dumb as fucking animal hater btw the other riders were probably glaring at u because ur stupid ass was blowing down the trail and didn't give a shit if someone got hurt also the person on the horse that was freaking out was probably riding a colt that doesn't know any better yet. it's not us horse lovers fault that u aren't smart enough to get ur damn bike out of the rd when we have the ride away I'm saying this right now because a bike almost slammed into me and my three yr old but unlike u the man riding the bike was polite enough that he stopped and took his bike to the side of the rd. I would rather lead u to water and hold your fucking head under

Accatone Becchino said...

Anon:
I'd like to lead your mom to water and hold her head under my hoodie until she chokes to death on my horse-cock