11.30.2009

Get That Money - The Poll

Ok, so maybe we made some bad investments or something, we’re not really sure what happened. Probably all the money we funneled into that boutique store. That didn’t pan out (yet….) and now our domain fees have arrived. Holy shit, they raised the price on us. What, they think we are made of $$?? We thought the ads would help out, but evidently no one cares about scientology or big green boxes. Well, we have some ideas on how to raise some dough, we just want your input, since we are like a family here. And like every family, we are that one member that needs some money, or has a hairbrained scheme to make it big, as long as we don’t get caught.

Bottom line, internet rent just went up by 69 cents, how do we collect those kinda pesos??

Place your bets in the poll

(and feel free to click on some scientology ads)

jumps in the woods







Sarah Palin Promotes A More Entruprenuuurist Condusive Nation

Big ballin is my hobby, so it was only a matter of time before we took c2d to the next level. At first we thought, maybe a used electronics store, or maybe a pawn shop that catered towards sacred artifacts. Nope, that’s not baller status.

Baller status = boutique store.

You know, one of those places where we sit around all day, with our friends, and act like we are better than you, the customer. But that would get boring so we need paintball and airsoft guns to really show our lack of appreciation for buying overpriced clothes and shit

Ok, so not all boutique workers are total assholes, but there quite a few of em. (put your suggestions in the comments)

Right off the bat, we need clothes, bikes and bike parts. Next up, the most important thing is beer. Now that’s a no brainer, but making it available for sale is licensing nightmare im sure, unless we set up shop on a boat in international waters, complete with monkey knife fights.

It does paint a pretty picture, something like old school halcyon (record –coffee- beer – furniture store), but with bikes, ramps, clothes, shoes, and beat battles. Throw a ps3 in there, some turntables, a nice location, and hmm, what else, oh yea – PAYING CUSTOMERS!

sneakers 8 (40%)
clothes 11 (55%)
street/park/dj parts/bikes 12 (60%)
other bike parts/bikes 3 (15%)
music/records/mixes 9 (45%)
audio gear/equipment 2 (10%)
food/drinks 3 (15%)
microbrews/beer 10 (50%)
bike accessories 5 (25%)
toys/video games 3 (15%)
skateboards 3 (15%)
graff/art supplies 6 (30%)
bike services/maintenance 2 (10%)
you MUST have a mini-ramp! 9 (45%)
you MUST have beat battles! 6 (30%)
you MUST be fuckin dumb and crazy! 4 (20%)
yet another NYC Boutique? no thanks! 3 (15%)



Quotes gallore

Post Holiday Slump



Yes, it sucks going back to work after a 4 day weekend, but let's face it, things could be a lot worse. Oh boo hoo, you got a full time job.

Grab a cup of coffee and blast this mix to get you thru that first day back.
Smutlee X Fabric 10th Birthday Promo Mix '09 by smutlee


And Lets not forget Turrbotax this Thursday.


11.29.2009

We Need More Props In The US Dance Scene

party is no longer fun for one person about 2 minutes in


Now, if "So You Think You Could Dance" could learn a few pointers, I might just watch that show. Or "Dancing With The Stars"

Hmm...

Ipod Zombie Cyclists

Well, thats kinda catchy.
check out the article here

The solution however does not involve direct attacks on the head.

11.28.2009

A New Holiday Tradition?

so one night, having sushi with some coworkers on pay day, and having had more than a handful of sake bombers, i apparantly came up with the idea to host a "Children of the Corn & Mad Dog 20/20 Party." i say apparantly because i have little or no recollection of this, although it sounds like the kind of thing i would do given the circumstances.

i guess the idea was a hit, because a few days later the coworkers were holding me to it, even though by this time i realized it would be a terrible idea. but too late; events were set in motion and on Thanksgiving Eve it was on....



i provided the house and the Children of the Corn via Netflix, and one of the crew picked up a bounty of MD 20/20. flavors represented were Orange Jubilee (aka Orange), Banana Red (aka Red), and Red Grape Wine (aka "PURPLE!!!"). we each had one quart, and then split the last PURPLE 4 ways. no one volunteered to drink the last one alone. i think we all feared the revolt our intestines would be in the next morning. plus, in regards to "Red Grape Wine," even the CEO of MD20/20 Inc has been quoted as saying "that stuff is just...awful"*

*(may not be an actual quote from the CEO, but i bet you'd never catch him drinking one either, so....)



here's a neat trick: to make ANY beer taste delicious, simply drink one immediately after drinking any flavor of MD20/20. dull-ass Session lager never went down so smooth.....



we ran out of beer pretty early, but it was probably for the best. the hangovers were surprisingly mild, even after staying up til 4am, having pull-up contests, and this brute beating my punching bag in half...

(dramatic re-enactment of actual event)

also, Children of the Corn is still a decent creepy movie.

please feel free to host your own CotC/MD20x2 Party and get back to us with results...

11.23.2009

Street Science: Vol 6

back-up your data

"that server has definitely failed"


When I Left Moscow...

... it was 1993, and this was the track that was playing out of every kiosk on Arbat, out of every car flying down Kalinensky Prospect, all day. Ace of Base forever!

11.22.2009

The Food Life: Vol 18

Always good time for burgers - aka - cast iron griddles RULE.

11.20.2009

Maybe She Can Get Her Pain Meds From The Driver

This guy can't do anything right. Seriously what a fuck up!


Texting driver arrested after hitting bicyclist

MEDFORD, N.J. - Police say a bicyclist was hit by a car on Route 70 while the driver was texting about a drug deal.

Robert J. Sharrer, 28, of New Jersey Avenue in Pemberton Township, has been charged with drug possession with the intent to distribute after an undisclosed amount of unauthorized prescription drugs were found in his car Monday, police said.

Charges in connection with the collision are pending, police said.

Investigators said Sharrer was seen driving a 1994 Oldsmobile Cutlass erratically on Route 70 West shortly before 6:23 p.m. when his vehicle drifted onto the shoulder and hit bicyclist Lisa Granert, 42, of Elbo Lane in Cherry Hill.

Granert was injured and airlifted to Cooper University Hospital in Camden for treatment. Her condition was unavailable Tuesday evening.

Police said Granert frequently rides her bicycle on Route 70 and was wearing a reflective vest at the time of the accident.

Following the accident, Sharrer told police he was "texting" while driving and didn't remember the collision. Further investigation revealed Sharrer's text message concerned the sale of prescription drugs, police said.
Link to article.

I wonder if they are as concerned with new bike laws/fines as neighboring Philly? Proposing headphone riding fine be 3x that as a car running a red light....

Be The First On Your Block With Rod Brakes

Feisty upcomers Empire Bicycles, are bringing that retro heat with some old fashioned English Roadsters. Now you might think these were found in a giant warehouse hidden all these years behind the arc of the covenant, but you'd be wrong as these are brand new. If you head over here you will see all sorts of pics of their mens and womens models. Lots of detailed shots, including the rod brakes!!

"They are modeled after the Raleigh Deluxe Model One (or "DL-1") -- which incorporated the latest technology of the post-Victorian era (circa 1913)"

Bottom line, it's a nice functional bike for commuting, cruising, looking good in your post-Victorian denim, etc.. and it's unique style will have everyone guessing you rode off from a Masterpiece Theater set.

FYI, if you want to check em out in person, or buy one, head to the Fort Greene Flea Market this Saturday (176 Lafayette Avenue) from 10am-6pm.

Get em while they are hot, these are a limited run.

Not in Brooklyn this weekend, jeez, don't worry, there is always ebay - http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=300367531344&ssPageName=ADME:B:EF:US:1123

11.19.2009

Best of Cellphone Pics v.3

DISCLAIMER: these were NOT taken with an iPhone, although i do slob the iPhone knob as much as possible, like all c2D staffers....

from my last NY trip


i'm no bible scholar, but Romans 12:1-2 doesn't say a fucking thing about Halloween....
and yes, i actually looked....


an old sawmill (i think?) i found while getting lost on forest roads today. it is 5-6 stories, built into a steep cliffside. expect a full report on c2d once i go back with a real camera


an abandoned mansion from the mining era outside Kingman AZ (near the abandoned Santaland if you're in the area....)


how i spent yesterday afternoon...Granite Mountain AZ


kind of impressive for Phx graf (that's a 2-story building)


it actually makes me happy to find shit like this when i'm riding in the desert....


abandoned hotel in Prescott AZ


i think that "Battles Without Honor & Humanity" is probably the best movie title ever. its what i would want my Bio pic to be named....

FUCK YOU and the Horse You Rode In On

this might not be as much of an issue for you NYC folks....but think of it as the AZ AIBLPM for trails...



issue number one. if i'm walking my dogs on this trail, and they drop a few turds, i'm expected to pick them up and carry them until i find a trash can. well, out in nature there's not a lot of fucking trash cans. in fact, there's ONE. and its back where i parked the car. now, nevermind the fact that i don't actually do this...i kick sand over it or place a rock over it and waltz away. the fact is that i am Expected to do it.

However, if someone's horse takes a dump which is the size of both of my dogs put together, they get to leave it right in the middle of the fucking trail for me to ride through. WTF?!?! and don't give me that "well they just eat oats and grass so their poop isn't as gross." OK, you wanna make that argument? go find a steaming pile of horse shit and eat a handful... go ahead, i'll wait.
now what were you saying?



issue number two. apparantly, horses and bikes are mortal enemies. at least, this is my theory based on the fact that every fucking horse on the trail freaks the fuck out when i come riding along. of course, while the horse is bucking around trying to Christopher-Reeves its owner, the riders are scowling at me like i did something wrong.
hey, sorry that your mode of conveyance is terrified by the presence of a silent 2 wheeled demon...maybe if you got your fat ass off the horse and tried fucking walking down the trail you wouldn't be at risk of getting your skull split open by the Black Stallion.



i mean, if you've got a herd of cattle and you need to get them to Prescott Valley for slaughter, OK...ride your fucking horse cowboy. but otherwise, lead your horse to water, and hold its fucking head under!

Im in ur Linksys, stealin' ur WiFi...



So, I wake up Tuesday morning, launch the shower routine, head for the PC to get the latest and no internet! WTF!!
.
Reset everything, do the IT geek manoevers, NO LOVE!! Check the TV (dont have a box, but still hook the coax up for a small sampling of channels) -- NO SIGNAL!!
.
Apparently some Douche-a-saurus damaged some lines while ripping into the main box to splice in a line on the Steal-Some-Cable tip.
.
DAMN! They arent going to be here until Saturday to fix. What am I to do?

So, I fired up my BIOS hacked Windows 7 x64 box and proceeded to scan the land for some unsecured WiFi! VOILA - the fabled 'LinkSys' and 'DLink' unsecured networks with 2 bars.
.
And here I am posting via stolen WiFi on a Pirate copy of Windows 7, wearing a disguise and watching my security cameras for vengeful cable technicians, the BSA, and the army of darkness to take me off to jail.



I'm scared, but I need my w3b'z!

THIS HAS BEEN A WORK OF FICTION, ANY SIMILARITY TO REALITY IS PURE COINCIDENCE, INFERENCE, OR GENERAL MOOK'ISHNESS OF THE READER.

AIBLPM and The Cop Street Party Bonanza!

The AIBLPM index for this morning was at a mild 1.11, with Bedford being the danger zone with the most offenses. A pleasant ride with temperature in high 40s, its quite a delightful weather for a refreshing and awakening commute, despite the grey low clouds. Hell, if I could I would just stop on a side of the road, fold out my picnic blanky and get to assembling some samwiches.
But thats today.
What about 2 weeks ago when it was 25F out there for a few days, cold as hell and windy. Would I be so willing to have party roadside style, right in the middle and across the bike lane, with a bunch of my friends? No. No I wouldn't be.
Well, for one, I dont really have any friends. Second, it would be too chilly. And third, I'm not an asshole like some NYPD po-po finest over here.
I mean, honestly, 6 police cruisers, in the row, all parked in the bikelane, po-po hanging out by their cars bullshiting with no sense of urgency at all.
Thanks Finest! Should I remind you that its a $115 ticket for parking in the bike lane or did you already know that?


He Blew His Mind Out With A Gun

Last year I created an invitation for my sisters gallery opening. She wanted it to be a 3d paper sculpture of a doctor, blowing his brains out. Being a huge fan of paper sculpture and the opportunity of this being seen by thousands of art collectors I jumped on it and the project/invitation and the show that followed was alot of fun - but what I was really hoping was for someone to cut it out, build it, and then send in some photos. And guess what, it took a year but those photos arrived. Nothing like seeing someone else build your vision.

11.18.2009

AIBLPM picked up by Gothamist! Sort of.


Seems the crew here at c2d are not the only ones troubled by the amount of manuerving around bike lane impediments required on any given day. Gothamist asked its readers to submit their own pics of the sorts of things they encounter blocking bike lanes around the city. My favorite is the jersey barrier, but at least you can wallride it.

Link

Brooklyn Morning



Just now.

11.17.2009

How do you take them pics - The Sumup

Well looky here - C2D readers are a tech savvy bunch - DSLR got 38% of the votes - quality is valued! Point and shoot, as expected is on top - that's the weapon of choice around these here parts. 23% of votes for the iPhone - which means there are 4 people other then myself who slob that iPhone knob (even if i did have to personally recruit them from iphonerules.com/forums to vote on this poll)

point and shoot, tiny and dirty 11 (52%)
disposable, nice and cheap 3 (14%)
DSLR, quality all day! 8 (38%)
film camera, analog baby 3 (14%)
cant afford one - i use a cellphone4 (19%)
iphone 3gs, son! 5 (23%)
web cam/ps3 cam/xbox cam cuz i'm a nerd 3 (14%)
video camera? i'm confused 3 (14%)
fuck taking photos 6 (28%)

11.16.2009

Outside the office

Going up to C2D office this morning, saw this wreck parked outside. Snapped some pics.